april 17

last night, i dreamed that i was part of AVATAR.

now, i have never seen the movie. i know that some characters are blue, and some characters are human. i also know that one of the human characters is in a wheelchair. i also understand that the plot of the movie follows pretty closely the plot of disney's POCAHONTAS.

this being my knowledge base, my brain decided to concoct the rest:

i am the character who eventually ends up in a wheelchair. i currently have full use of my legs. i am on planet earth, and i hear rumors of blue people who live underground, are really skinny, and sort of look like cats. i jump off the deck of my house and start digging a hole.

after i dig about a foot into the dirt, i strike something different and very interesting: bluish purple round, shiny stones (like the glass bits people use in the bottoms of vases). i take a step into the center of the hole, and the strange stones suck me under, like quicksand.

the layer of blue-purple stones is very thin, and i find myself in a tunnel. i look at my hands and realize that i have turned blue, and i have a tail. suddenly, i meet a female blue being who leads me to her den (is that what you call an underground room off of a tunnel?).

there, she tells me about her people and the strange stones, which are, in fact, the substance the humans are after. (unobtainium? really james cameron?) i decide to help her people by covering up the hole i dug so that no one can find the rocks or the blue people.

the female leads me back to my starting point and hoists me up through the purple stones. i climb out of the hole and try to hop the fence of my deck to get my shovel. this is when i slip and become paralyzed from the waist down.

with my arms, i pull myself back to the hole and sink through headfirst. when i fall into the tunnel, i can feel my legs again, and they work perfectly. weird.

then i find the female blue person, and we strategize our next move, which, unfortunately, i don't know... because i woke up.

according to the commercial i saw this morning, AVATAR comes out on dvd next week... so i guess i'll have to get it, watch it, and see if my crazy pregnancy-hormone-ridden brain was even remotely correct in my interpretation of AVATAR.

march 23

last night, i (sort of) ashamedly watched one whole disc of extra features for my new moon dvd. yeah, i'm one of those. sorry. anyway, then i went to bed.

last night's dream:

i was back in high school, and i drove my old jeep. the biggest difference was that i owned a mountain lion, and he lived in my bathroom.

i had to go to the grocery store and buy the largest chuck roast i have ever seen. when i lugged that thing home, i had to dig out the largest pan i had and brown the meat, just on the outside. mr. mountain lion liked his chuck roast extra rare.

since you can't trust a mountain lion to be alone in the house all day, i also had to bring him to school with me. this involved strapping him into the passenger seat of my jeep and then taking him to the mountain lion daycare center in my high school. surprisingly, mine was the only mountain lion. not sure why they had a daycare just for my pet.

anyway, one day, my sister rachel decided to drive us to school. this never happened before, since she didn't like my mountain lion. she took the longest, most roundabout route possible, and the mountain lion was starting to get sick and (worse) grumpy. he made that mountain-lion-growl/meow-noise and stuck his head out of the window to get sick.

to make things even worse, rachel took us to the wrong high school. they didn't have a mountain lion daycare, so i was stuck bringing him to all my classes. not surprisingly, my new teachers weren't big fans of the big cat. i got suspended for not having my pet declawed.

and then i woke up and said, "what the hell?"

march 19

on adam's night off, we finished watching cirque du freak: the vampire's assistant.

then i feel asleep. last night's dream:

there was an indigenous people living somewhere really cold, like northern canada. they lived in teepees, and their camp was surrounded by really huge pine trees--ones that had obviously grown for several hundred years. also surrounding their camp was a wolf pack, bloodthirsty and not afraid to raid the village for their meals. the people lived in constant fear of the wolves, which attacked day or night.

enter a young boy (me... what?). i am the savior of these people, but i don't know how i am supposed to save them. i wandered into their village one day, and they surrounded me, saying, "this is the boy from the prophesy!"

one family took me into their home and put me to work like everyone else in the family. my job was to gather kindling for the fire. i had to wander around the giant pine trees. i heard some howling, so i started running back to the village. suddenly, a small canine tumbled in front of me. it was a puppy--not a wolf. i picked him up and brought him back to the village.

the people had never seen a dog before. previous to this puppy, they had relied on cats to sense when the wolves were coming. (as one would imagine, the cats turned out to be fairly unreliable.) this puppy, however, could hear or sense when the wolves were coming and started barking as soon as we entered the village. the chief recognized the barking as a signal, and everyone grabbed their spears.

for the first time, the people were able to repel the wolves from their village.

turns out, i fulfilled the prophesy by finding a puppy. i also fulfilled the other part of the prophesy (which had not been told to me, either) by getting bitten in the arm by the lead wolf. i was scarred for life, but everyone knew that i was the one with the alarm-dog, so no one said anything about my scar.

the end.

March 17

on the eve of st. patrick's day, i fell asleep in our blue armchair at 8:15. a loud commercial woke me up, so i moved to my bed and passed out a second time. this is what i dreamed of last night:

it was fall, and the trees were gorgeous, the vibrant colors surrounding the little lake where my uncle (in real life) has a trailer/cabin. (again with the lake!) (also, in real life, my dad goes fishing there every fall.)

my dad pulled a canoe into the water, and i climbed in. he had all of his fishing gear, and we drove out to the middle of the lake. yes, our canoe had a motor.

once we reached the middle of the lake, he put down the anchor (yes, an anchor), and we started to fish. our poles were not large, so we must have been fishing for small fish. we sat there for a long time, not catching fish.

all of a sudden, we started to get bite after bite! i have never liked taking fish off of the hooks, so my dad started that process while i pulled them up, fish after fish after fish.

then, my dad yelled in pain. "one of them bit me!" he yelled.

i looked at his finger, which had obvious teeth marks on it. then i looked at the fish. it was a piranha. this lake was infested with piranha. they were the only kind of fish we were catching!

we quickly threw all the fish back and paddled back to shore (engine and anchor must have disappeared in dreamland). we paddled so hard that we pushed the canoe onto the sand so we didn't have to put our feet in the piranha-lake.

then we drove home.

the end.

march 14

the return of pregnancy-induced crazy dreams: i will be posting as often as i can. these dreams are weird.

last night:

my mom and i were vacationing on the edge of an L-shaped lake. we were right at the inside corner of the L. we rented a little cottage with a porch not ten feet from the water's edge. there was also a porch off of the second floor, which turned into the perch from which i viewed the following event:

a giant crocodile (or alligator, as the policeman later defined it--we had quite the argument) swam around this lake all day. (think: lake placid) no one went swimming (for obvious reasons), and the crocogator fed mostly on lake fish. today, though, he must have been craving something else, because he headed straight for our cabin. my mom was standing in front of the first-floor porch, and i yelled for her to get onto the porch. the crocogator went below the surface for a second and then dove onto the land right in front of our cottage. my mom scrambled onto the deck, but the crocogator was faster than she was. he latched onto my mom's leg and dragged her over the railing and into the water. all i could see were bubbles, and then there was nothing.

the crocogator was still hungry, so while i dialed 911, he launched himself out of the water again and attempted to climb the house to where i was on the second-floor porch.

this is where it gets really crazy:

then, the crocogator SPLIT INTO TWO VELOCIRAPTORS, which actually succeeded in climbing the house. i locked myself in a closet, and then the police came. the crocogatoraptor(s) were gone, and so was my mom.

WHAT.